I never like the sound of phones. When it rings I ran or hide the other direction—avoiding to become the reluctant messenger jotting down notes or remembering messages for somebody.
Except on the crucial day: my departure.
I better stop running away to inconveniences. (I was preparing myself for greater challenges in my soon-to-be home: Canada.)
Learn to get along well with others.
I was dumbfounded.
The best advice for newcomers just went pass through my ears as if I was listening to a commercial I can hardly wait to end.
The soft-spoken voice delighted me; while the message, I somehow unconsciously buried deep within me, at first, because of fear—difficulty lies ahead.
As I live a new life in Canada, I realize how important it is to have a good relationship with people around me.
I firmly grasp every day the invaluable advice.
You might ask if I ever had a conflict with somebody.
I try not to go too close to the edge of my patience and reason. I may not be crowned as “Miss Congeniality” but I manage to win the right friends and groups with the same interest as mine.
Practicing the Advice for Newcomers
You don’t have to be the most charming person with a glaring smile to win the people around you.
Practice every day. If you fail today, then try again tomorrow.
Think that others are trying their best to get along with you (how hard it must have been) so why not do your share and remember the following tips:
- Learn to listen. And show that they have your attention. (Avoid the blank stare look.) The discussion might not be interesting but by listening attentively you can liven up the conversation. You can learn from others as much as they can from you.
- Observe before reacting. Sometimes an individual may choose not to say anything about personal- or work-related problems. There are things that are best kept at the moment. Or simply put bad timing. Watch for signs and you can avoid saying unpleasant or unfitting words.
- Lend a helping hand. If you can do something for someone, even little favours, don’t miss the opportunity. It feels great that just by thinking of your initiatives can brighten up gloomy days. And maybe someday, favours return to you unexpectedly. If not, it’s worth it just the same.
- Walk away—far away. To have the most likeable personality to offer every day is impossible. Time will come that you are off guard, tired, or having a bad day. You’ll think that no advice for newcomers is reasonable enough. The situation calls for a retreat.
I know you can add more ways on how to get along well with others. That’s great so share it in the comment.
So where should you start?
How’s your relationship with your family and friends?
Challenge yourself to have well-meaning relationship starting with the person whom you cannot agree with just about anything. Spend the afternoon with that person for a walk or movie or spend the day indoors. (Let’s see who will reign over the remote control. )
I have one more tip before the imminent challenge/war: part of learning to get along well with others is knowing when too much is enough.
Knowing Your Limitation
People will start to like you or even more. Notice the changes in how they relate to you and others.
They have changed and so are you (it’s really possible), but do not do things just to feel good or get something in return.
Remember you are building relationships not trading products. Engage with caution.
It is all right to do favours or treat friends in a movie. (Did you get the tickets for free?) But don’t ever hesitate to say NO.
Let the truth be known from the start; they will appreciate honesty more than excuses you come up with.
Get along with others and you can become a successful newcomer. Watch and read stories of newcomers in Canada for more tips:
Keep on working and soon you’ll count allies and be at peace with yourself.
Share these tips and your story to other newcomers wherever you are.
Has there been a time or person that challenged you so much that you almost lose control?
Koli Song says
October 25, 2013 at 7:33 pmHi! I find your articles interesting and familiar, as I have also been a newcomer before (still stumblin’ here and there for 10 years now). Great work! I encourage you to keep on!!
Carolyn says
October 25, 2013 at 9:34 pmWow! Your words are quick confidence and energy booster. I guess once a newcomer will always be a newcomer. Whenever I feel like not writing, I’ll think of your words.
Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for the kind words! It really means a lot! Feel free to drop by again.
David White says
October 21, 2013 at 8:15 pmI’ve just stumbled upon your blog and found the articles very interesting, especially this one.
I’m considering to move to Canada, so I really appreciate the great tips.
Kudos!
Carolyn says
October 23, 2013 at 10:21 amHi, David. I’m glad you like the blog. I’m sure you will have a great time in Canada just as you did in Asia. I’m saying this as someone who made a giant leaped of moving from a tropical to a four-season country.
It’s getting cold now and the sun is hiding most of the day. Snow will fall any time soon.
I know you will be amazed with snow. I still do but it also makes me think of the warm weather.
I like how Asia Expat Guides is helping the expats live and adapt in Asian cultures. It is definitely
easier to learn from someone’s experience. Sparing yourself from some of the “trial and error” approach and blunders.
Thank you for stopping by and would love to hear more of your story whether about Asia or Canada.